Interesting Place. Bus waited for ages outside here but nobody came out. G said it was waiting to collect the Mayor.
Had to take car to garage for very expensive repairs meaning return journey on bus. Found the bus station and man in booth eating a chocolate doughnut and slurping some orange stuff in a can. He said to go outside to machine and then screwed up his face, took a big slurp of orange stuff and shouted ‘vamoose’. Must have been his tea break.
Found machine. It had a moving cartoon bus and then you put in your destination and paid. Easy-Peasy. Pressed button and bus started to go round in circles and wouldn't stop. Scarpered quick as queue started to form. Had to pay on bus as machine out of action still. Told G it was already broken. Bus was very noisy, everyone talking at once and they all seemed to know each other so people on the front row were shouting to people on the back row. We just looked out of the window.
It was only four euros, which was a bit of a surprise as the timetable said the journey would take an hour and five minutes. It only took us 25 minutes to drive in this morning, even with bits of car dragging on the ground. Bus radio was playing Lady Gaga, very loud, and driver singing along. Shame he didn't know the words. G said he still sounded better than Lady Gaga. He's not a big fan.
We went past the bullring in Vera and G said he remembered reading it had been in a film with Jack Nicholson. I looked it up and he was right. The film ended in Vera, right by the bullring.
The bus took a very strange route and we saw things and places we never knew existed. At one stage we went by the nudist beach. Didn't tell G in case he got whiplash as he was reading his kindle and eating liquorice. Lots of people there who’d look much better if they put clothes on. Was very glad no nudists got on the bus, especially a man with very pale skin and ever such a lot of it.
There were some people demonstrating about something outside the Town Hall, surely not Trump I said. G said it was about Brexit and the English had got to leave straight away, as the Spanish have never liked us. Somebody said later it was about water shortages. We didn't run the tap that night while cleaning our teeth.
The last demo we were involved in was when we were having a visit to Fortnum and Masons. First and last. We decided to see if we could have afternoon tea which was about £30 each years ago. Then we changed our mind and ordered a pot of tea and coffee, still a lot but we joined the old ladies eating their sandwiches and cakes. Neither of us slurped and G only makes happy noises when he is eating rhubarb and cold custard.
We were half way through when a man came on the tannoy and said ladies and gentlemen the doors have been locked as there is a demo about President Bush and there be civil disturbance in the area. One door was remaining open for a few minutes. Loads left in a hurry.
We scavenged some untouched sandwiches and cake off an abandoned table and waited in the food hall where there were free samples of things. How marvellous. Looked out the window where there were police and demonstrators and wished it could go on all night. Lovely comfy sofas scattered around, no shortage of food and the toilets were fab. Could have stayed a week.
A man got on the bus dragging a shopping trolley with what turned out to be a rather smelly dog in it. G and I gave each other a knowing look as he paid the driver and sure enough he plonked himself down right opposite us. Wished I had got some Vick to smear round my top lip.
The bus stopped for a long time outside Tupper Sex, a shop which I assumed was the HQ of Tupperware and Ann Summers parties. They must have joined forces. Might go along to their next event. I hope the Queen never hears about this as she likes Tupperware, but not when combined with all that sex paraphernalia.
We got as far as Garrucha when the bus broke down. The driver stood up, smiling, and said something, everyone groaned and then clambered off the bus. We ended up walking all the way back. It was only a couple of miles, or so, maybe three, G said, adding a walk would do us good and anyway there wouldn't be another bus for ages. Ten minutes later a bus sailed past and all the passengers looked out at us puffing along in the heat. The smelly dog was there, wagging his tail.
Very, very hot and we had gone out really early so were well muffled up. Huge walk, 10,000 steps wasn't in it. The yoghurt we had bought would have been well stirred by the time we got back. Will be cheese by now.
Stopped half way for refreshments, fresh orange and scrambled eggs with toast. Breakfast of champions, G said. Thinks he's an athlete now after walking a couple of miles. Those days have gone, I think.
Got back, fell asleep in chair outside on the terrace and now have lots of red bits. Put about half a pound of E45 on and look very strange but not burnt at least.
Am very worried about the veg situation when we get back to England, as they are getting short of fruit as well. Will we get scurvy? Will look up rickets as well. Am very worried and will smuggle in some satsumas as we have heard you can only bring one each through tunnel, and if they find an iceberg lettuce you will be arrested.
Looked in the Spanish supermarket that only sells weird stuff and found some tinned Brussels sprouts with red peppers in. G said they could fetch a fortune in UK and we should buy a crate. Going to see if a pallet will fit in the car when we get it back.
Am on the lookout for other tinned delicious sounding things. Oh have just found some mushrooms in a jar of grey slimy water. Lovely. Must be nourishing.
Have decided we are going to get an allotment and grow our own lettuce. I will dress like a land girl. Actually, the only thing we ever grew were potatoes in France which came out smaller than the seed potatoes we had originally planted and some lettuce which the rabbits ate overnight, so maybe not.
Am just going to stock up with some vitamin C tablets.